


Force Ordained

by robinasnyder



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, mind wipe aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 20:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: Obi-Wan's memories were wiped entirely. He is still able to be a Jedi, but he doesn't remember any of his friends or past. He's learned to live with it. What he can't live with are these feeling for a Master he cannot remember that doesn't seem to feel them.





	Force Ordained

“You know, it’s times like this makes me wish that I could remember you,” Obi-Wan said with a smile that was all dimples. Qui-Gon’s heart clenched. “Also because you would perhaps stop making faces like that.”

“My apologies,” Qui-Gon said, having the good sense to look embarrassed.

“You should. I know you miss him, but-”

“I still have those memories. All I miss is that you don’t know me,” Qui-Gon said quickly, catching his mission partner’s hand. “I miss that you don’t smile at me anymore and mean it.”

“With the state of things in the universe, I doubt that I did much smiling,” Obi-Wan said dryly.

Qui-Gon’s mouth twitched. “You will be sassing people until you die. It’s built into your DNA.”

Obi-Wan snorted. “I believe you may be right, Master Jinn.”

“Please just call be Qui-Gon, I beg of you.”

“Oh, I could make you beg.” And there was that daring smirk that made Qui-Gon’s heart flip over.

“Obi-Wan-” Qui-Gon started, trying to stop the flirting. It was very difficult to ignore, and Qui-Gon needed to be strong about this. He hadn’t been very strong about anything since he rescued Obi-Wan from that lab and found out that almost all of his memories were permanently erased. Oh, he remembered how to be a Jedi. That too was in his DNA, and he remembered lessons and histories, but even events he had participated in only came back to him as if he read them in a history text.

All of their years together were obliterated.

Some people liked it. Supposedly the mind wipe made him the fairest and objective person on the council. But the people who cared about him had a harder time accepting. Qui-Gon easily most of all. Anakin had been equally devastated but had also stuck to Obi-Wan’s side like a burr in a blanket. They had built a new relationship, something similar to before, if only because Anakin told Obi-Wan every story he remembered about them and refused to let Obi-Wan not love him.

Maybe Qui-Gon should have taken after Anakin’s example, but Qui-Gon (rather bitterly) felt that this was something wholly singular to their Chosen One.

Qui-Gon hated looking in Obi-Wan’s eyes and having Obi-Wan look at him like a stranger and mere acquaintance. So many times in their apprenticeship, and then afterward, Qui-Gon believed that Obi-Wan would forever disavow him and refuse to see him for the rest of their lives. Many times he believed he even deserved it. But to have them become strangers without even allowing his Obi-Wan the option of choice was too cruel.

But Obi-Wan was still here. They did missions often enough. They still worked together so well. Obi-Wan’s muscles remembered, but not his emotions or his mind.

And then something new got added: Obi-Wan began to flirt with him as if he were one of the villains or one of the politicians they had to interact with. It broke Qui-Gon’s heart. He found himself relying on anything, including old treatises on the Force he had always scoffed at in the past, anything to keep Obi-Wan from flirting with him.

“You aren’t even going to ask me why I wished I could remember you?” Obi-Wan asked. The playful disgust in his tone was clear. His eye roll reminded Qui-Gon of the absolute million of times he’d seen it. “Really, Master Jinn. You can be so self-absorbed.”

“Alright, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said. He could sense the trap, but he had never been one not to spring a trap, especially one clearly so desperate to be sprung. “Why do you wish you remembered me?”

“Because then when I told you to stop being a tit and just kiss me, you might actually believe me.” His words were blunt almost to the point of cruelty, and it made Qui-Gon wince instinctively before the content of his statement caught up to his brain.

“Excuse me?” Qui-Gon choked out then.

“I don’t remember, but I’m also not stupid. And I’m not wholly broken, my body remembers. You have seen how we work on missions. It’s all there. When I spend time with Anakin I feel warmth and joy and such a strong feeling I can barely put words to it. And it’s not just that we’ve spent so much time together now, it was always there. And when I am with you, there is always this desperately painful want. I want you, Master Jinn. And if I had my memories then maybe you’d believe me instead of trying to turn me away for the 100th time.” 

Qui-Gon couldn’t pretend like his mouth hadn’t dropped open. He was staring, open-mouthed, bathed in the starlight from above and the lamplight on the balcony. Obi-Wan was beautiful there. He was beautiful everywhere, had been for years. 

“I-I.” He closed his mouth and soon as he realized he was stammering. He took a deep breath and tried not to whimper. 

“I, I?” Obi-Wan asked, looking like he was trying to be cocky, but Qui-Gon knew that look. Obi-Wan was frightened. This meant something to him, more than just sex. It was never just sex for Obi-Wan, never had been, not with anyone.

“I have lived… for quite a long time very certain that Obi-Wan should leave me; because of everything I have done… and because realized when he was still only a young man under my care that I wanted him in a sexual manner.” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes gleamed. “I’m not a padawan. I’m in my mid-thirties and have been for a while. I don’t remember being your padawan, this is true. But maybe we can forge a new relationship, one which is not built on a past I do not have anymore.” 

“It’s still there, Obi-Wan, even if you don’t remember.” 

“But it doesn’t make me what I am now.” 

“Ah, but you were the one who said your body remembers.” Qui-Gon took a big step closer. Obi-Wan didn’t step back, but some of his bravado slipped away. He dropped his eyes and actually blushed the most delightful color. “It seems in remembers a lot.” 

“Stop it, Master,” Obi-Wan mumbled. 

“Call me Qui-Gon, and I will, as you said so eloquently, oh Negotiator, stop being a tit and kiss you.” 

“You are a tit, Qui-Gon. Now kiss me,” Obi-Wan ordered, still blushing. 

Qui-Gon lifted his arms, just enough so Obi-Wan could slip in as if he had always belonged right there. He had held Obi-Wan many times when he was sick or hurt or just too tired to stay upright. But he’d never held Obi-Wan like this. For one thing, they had not embraced in quite a while, even before the mind wipe. But this was clearly going somewhere. Obi-Wan hugged him back, but his face was tipped up, an expectant look in his eyes. 

“Kiss me, Qui-Gon?” Obi-Wan asked. 

“How could I ignore such a nice request.” He pressed his mouth to Obi-Wan’s. He heard Obi-Wan gasp in a breath, but Qui-Gon also felt like it was his breath that was being stolen. 

Years, literal years of yearning, wanting, begging the Force to not ruin their relationship. And now Obi-Wan folded against him so easily. Qui-Gon kissed him again, slotting their mouths together. He could feel the bristle of Obi-Wan’s moustache against his own. He pulled back a little then, but Obi-Wan chased after him, making a noise QUi-Gon could only describe as needy. 

Qui-Gon pushed back in for another short kiss before pulling back. Obi-Wan actually whined. That sound sent a little thrill through Qui-Gon’s stomach. 

“My love, I do want you, but it would be better to retire to our rooms now before it becomes hard to walk.” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide. “You love me?” 

“Of course I do, my Obi-Wan.” How could any one man make him feel so good and so sad between heartbeats? Only Obi-Wan had ever had such an effect on him. 

“But I’m not him,” Obi-Wan said quietly, his tone too similar to the boy so afraid of screwing up and losing his place at his Master’s side. 

“You’re my Obi-Wan, no matter what, so long as you want me.” 

“I want you, I want you,” Obi-Wan said quickly. 

“Then let’s retire to our rooms. Any conversations we should have from here should be undertaken naked and horizontal.” 

Obi-Wan pulled back and took his hand. Silently he dragged his mission partner back through the palace to their joint room, his grip not wavering on Qui-Gon’s hand for even a second. Qui-Gon gripped on just as tightly. 

There was a hope in his heart, a hope he’d seen reflected in Obi-Wan’s eyes back when they stood beneath the stars. There was something between them, as powerful as gravity. It seemed nothing could keep them apart for too long, not their memories or themselves or anything in the universe. 

“Force ordained,” Qui-Gon murmured into Obi-Wan’s skin once their door was shut and he no longer had to worry about propriety. Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind. After all, his hands were busy divesting Qui-Gon of his clothes.


End file.
